“I don’t need dick in my back after sex.”
Oh, man. I’m trying my hardest to get through this whole video without cry-laughing so that I can share how great it is with you. But, as with everything that ends up on WorldStar, I’m having a significant amount of trouble doing that. I can’t. Here – you go on without me. Watch bravely, and then tell me about it after:
Okay, I’ve collected myself. Kinda.
This chick slays me because she’s really serious about sharing her important message here. Even though her tone sounds like a college professor I once had who’s explaining the historical ins and outs of the femme movement, she’s actually talking about the ins and outs of supersized schlong in her femme holes. And the sad thing is that when she says “Ah’m team li’l dick!”, I’m imagining men born with baby carrots nestled in a tuft of brown alfalfa sprouts everywhere seeing this.
And the poor dudes are getting the wrong idea.
Because, in reality, she and most women don’t genuinely mean “little”. That’s the thing about size – it’s subjective and it depends on your experience. So what a chick like this usually means is “my honey-buns don’t want none if you gotta anaconda, son.” If this girl’s gotten a dong readjusting her vertebrae from the inside before, she’s already taken the Matrix pill. She’s in now. She can’t go all the way back even if she wants to. At the very least, it’s gonna be a garter snake from here on out. Not an earthworm.
Then again, she talks about being “weakened as a woman”, so she may just kinda indulge in sexy time more for the carnal competition aspect than the climax trophy at the end. Like, she’s there to kick ass and take names and be told how great she is at what she does. I get that, I guess. Or maybe she has trouble reaching the finish line (regardless of how big a race it is) at all, so she just does Christian thing and helps her partner win instead. And then she gets a thumbs up and a high five after and the much sought after approval of someone she kinda likes – which for chicks who innately “desire to be desired” is longer lasting than the old nether-sneeze.
So they bring their A game to the O match.
Still, in the end, despite men celebrating a chick on team lil dick, I feel like none of them wanna go out with Monique.
Not in public at least.
Because by now she’s basically a human advertisement for how teeny-peened anyone she’s dating is.
